Not My Bicycle Race

I like bicycles. I like to ride bicycles. But I hate bicycle riders! It's not just any bike rider that I hate. Some are just fine. If you obey the rules of the road, and you are courteous and stay in your place then I think you are just fine. But before you think old Rob has mellowed after only a few posts then read on!

Not long ago I was driving through one of my local state parks. I really like a nice drive through nature. I'm not much of fan of walking through all those trails so I drive. You can get a lot of satisfaction from a good relaxing drive.

But that's not what happened! Instead I was greeted by a herd of annoying morons known as cyclists. I wouldn't have cared at all about these lowlifes but they were in the way everywhere I went! I fully understand that many of these parks accommodate bike riders. And that's fine with me. but these jerks were in the wrong place!

You can find bike trails over the state park, but did any of these idiots use them? No! These morons with their funny looking helmets and too tight pants rode their evil contraptions right down the middle of the road, in front of me! You're still not convinced that these jerks should be hated? Let me tell you more.

When I would be driving up a hill a cyclist would ride right in front of me at about one tenth of the speed limit. Would he move to one side so I could get past? No! And this exact kind of thing has been a common occurrence with them. These idiots know there is a long line of cars behind them but they don't care at all! I hate them.

Then on top of all that after we would get to the top of the hill and we would be headed back down these subhuman roller freaks would speed up. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that they would now be going faster than all the cars. And guess what the stupid bike cretins would do when they came up behind a car that was properly obeying the speed limit, unlike them? They would yell and scream that the slow moving car was in their obnoxious way! I hate them. I hate them all!

And did any of those stupid bike snobs obey things like stop signs? I gather by now that you know the answer to that is clearly No! Some of these would even be the ones who stayed on the bike trails. I would be driving along only to have some idiotic cycling jerk come darting out in the road right in front of me! I'd have to slam on my brakes. Do you know what I got for my caution? These same lowlifes would yell insults at me as they rode past! How's that for gratitude that I didn't run over these sorry tight pants wearing jerks?

They ride around the state park acting as if the cars are all in their way! They yell and shout at anyone and everyone in their stupid vicinity! They constantly dart out in front of much larger vehicles, ignoring all road signs and laws! It's enough to make me begin to even hate the good ones!

Before you decide that I'm only being insensitive I'll tell you that there was no special event and no other reason for these creeps to have such bad attitudes toward everyone else. Everyone else was trying to watch out for these morons, and all they got were insults hurled at them. these subhuman bike riders are out there every day with their bad behavior.

I'm here to give my own opinion and that's what I just did. I don't have a problem with an organized bike tournament or race or with someone who is obeying the rules. These idiots obey nothing and flaunt it. They should all be locked up and their bikes taken away. I hate them and their little bike pants too! I hate every one of them.

And that's all I have to say about that!
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The statements of this contributor are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Nature Center Magazine and its other contributors. All responses and queries should be directed to the author and not to Nature Center Magazine.